My cat pisses in the house at least 3 times a day. He might have a bladder infection, but I think he just does it because he’s a dick. He has a litter box, which he shits in, but he doesn’t use it for piss. Maybe he likes the tinkling sound it makes when his urine hits the wood. Anyway, I’m going to feed him to my Vietnamese friend Lyn.

Comments

  1. Yanz says:

    I’m jealous that you can grown facial hair so profusely. I hate my Asian genes!

  2. Autumn Sky says:

    Digby definitely pukes on my bed, carpet and rugs. Anything comfortable and warm, and he pukes on it. You’re lucky.

  3. Carrie says:

    My cat has never pooped, pissed or puked anywhere he wasn’t supposed to… although he does try to bite my face off while I’m sleeping.

  4. I guess that cats, in general, are dicks.

  5. Henderson says:

    Josh, my stupid cat started doing the same thing. He now lives outside in the screened in porch.
    I have one of those $100 motorized self cleaning cat boxes if you want it. I was hoping it would eat the cat or at least sever a leg but it didn’t.

  6. Jake Catlett says:

    Did you get the little fuckers nuts chopped off? I’ve lived with cats my entire life, and it’s usually a simple equation. Cat with balls/functional uterus = thoughtless pissing machine which ruins domicile. Cat with balls cut off/baby machinery dismantled = perpetually adolescent, box using purr machine.

    If his nuts are already cut off and he’s still pissing everywhere, bring him to the dump. There’s stuff there for him to eat, and then he’ll get to smell something akin to a toilet, too.

    In the mean time, get a water bottle and spray him when he pisses somewhere. It may or may not work, but it will make you feel better. Another thing I’ve heard that works – rub his face in his piss, then carry him by the scruff of his neck into the shower and then piss all over him. Make sure to lock him in the bathroom afterward, otherwise he’ll just spread your piss all over the house. Again, might or might not do the trick, but you’ll feel better.

  7. Ha! That made me cry a little.

    I’m going to go piss on him now.

    Thanks!

  8. Jake Catlett says:

    anything to help, man.

  9. Lyn Nguyen says:

    WTF!….ahem, I’d be honored to eat your cat. By the way, I’m about as Vietnamese as a Magpie’s Vietnamese sandwich. (contains roast beef)

  10. Michelle Kunert says:

    I did not know about this that you are an animal abuser whom should not have any animal in your possession, and for God’s sake there shouldn’t be a child in your home either. I was no fan of you leaving the Sacramento News and Review, now I see why, because you decided expectations of you recovering from drug addict were just too high (?), and so then you relapsed back. My brother once had an artist friend just like you in University, whom would be earning and contributing far more today to society than he does working out of crummy tattoo studio because he doesn’t stay away from the drugs and alcohol.

  11. If it makes you feel any better, I fucked the shit out of him later that night. Meow!

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