I haven’t posted anything lately because:
1) I started teaching and it turns out teaching is not at all like the movies where you just get to show up drunk with a flask in your pocket and yell at your slacker students about “FUCKIN’ LIFE, MAN” and then give A+s to everybody because, although they’re an unruly bunch who joined gangs when they were 6, they finally decide to kick it in high gear and win the big essay/ breakdance contest that saves the fate of the school from demolition by the evil for-profit institution while a hard (but uplifting) Tupac soundtrack plays as the faculty gives me high-fives and apologizes for not trusting such a rogue, off-the-cuff professor. In fact, teaching writing pretty much consists of grading stacks upon stacks of essays and then cursing the heavens for not handing me a brain that understands mathematics or business and 2) I’ve been terminally bored by everything I see.
It’s true. Somewhere in between Ron Paul and Honey Boo Boo, I stopped giving a shit about the news.
Take, for instance, Chris Dorner — the ex-cop who went nuts, wrote a manifesto and shot a bunch of people.
I know, I know. The world is in a sick, horrible place when even mass murder can’t rouse a human mind … but meh.
The only interesting thing about Dorner was that he looked exactly like L.L. Cool J (in Cool J’s softer In the House period ), but as soon as I caught on to that fact, a million other assholes on the internet realized the exact same thing.
Memes were made. And they were made again. And again.
Hilarious! And the shitty thing is I though of it two months after it was made.
But this is where memes get tricky: People are idiots.
Here’s an example. When people post these kinds of memes, which, for the most part, are funny and entertaining, what I think they’re trying to say is, “I relate to this statement and that makes me a fearless, somewhat edgy person, who has a good sense of humor”:
But what I see when you post that is, “I am a delusional, unoriginal piece of shit who can’t, even for one millisecond, come up with a unique idea because I’m not just simply dull, I’m most likely functionally retarded.”
What is the point of all this? I don’t know, smart guy. Maybe the point of this aimless, rambling and worthless post is to gently point out that this contestant on American Idol:
Looks exactly like my fucking cat: