I have to be honest. I should have just pointed the camera at the crowd at this year’s Rock the Bell’s Festival at the Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View, California. I have never seen so many white people with cornrows. It was outstanding. Where do they
It was really tempting to make a pun in the headline with the word
“Def” in it.Something like “Def-iling Your Mom’s Huge Ass”
Deftones perfected the mustacheless goatee many years ago. Most Def-initely. HAHAHAHA. Sorry.
or “Def People
Update: using a bit of investigative journalism I concluded that there are in fact 2 first place winners. I don’t understand how ties work because I am not a mathematician, but I do understand that the two journalists included in the tie must fight to the death in some
The 22,000 capacity Shoreline Amphitheater was packed with all kinds of people—bros with flip-flops, gang members with greasy hair, Caucasian babies, the dude from high school who I forget his name but was glad he didn’t see me because he used to rape me with his
Here’s a dilemma I’ve given a lot of thought to lately: The word “gay.”
It’s so useful and I love it. For instance, the word “dilemma” is fucking gay.
But I find myself in a jam because I am friends with a lot of homosexuals. I am
(This story originally appeared in the Sacramento News & Review)
In the summer of 1994, I was a nimble, 19-year-old boy full of porn and hormones—so what was I doing not getting laid? I sure as hell wasn’t waiting until marriage. So was I training to become a
On Facebook, one of my more muscular friends posted a workout regimen from a website called Muscle & Strength. I forget what the workout was, but on the site I noticed that users would post pictures of themselves doing various muscle poses. The poses would be like
I’ve been doing other shit, man. Seriously. Who has time to update a goddamn blog all day long?
Right now I’m in Philadelphia, sitting at a Starbucks, watching angry tan people walk around. Last week I was in Wyoming marveling at inbred children as they played