June’s memorial

June looked up into the sky and studied it for a while. It was thick with marbled clouds that looked like granite. It was going to rain, which was uncharacteristic for a Sacramento summer. She started to speak and then paused. “This weather is …”. She stopped

A case of the Thursdays

I’m sitting in the coffee shop watching a cougar picking her nose. She’s on a mission. Now she’s eating a muffin. Anyway, my novel’s almost done. Here’s a sentence: John Holmes stood on the bed, dangling his penis back and forth between the two

Endorsed by Kevin Secondss

Josh Fernandez…hehehehe….Josh Fernandez…hohohoo…Josh fucking Fernandez…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! oh jesus…..i witnessed your “spoken word” gig at the Space awhile back, dude. you’re in NO position to critique ANYBODY

Hey snake guy:

Can we please stop trapping snakes and other various reptiles, poisonous and non, and trying to make them our pets? I was perfectly happy to write about the Star Trek/sci-fi convention, but was so creeped out by the reptile show that I’m taking this space to beg you. If

SPIN 30 biggest concerts

One of SPIN magazine’s 30 biggest concerts of 2009 was the Mayhem Festival, which I wrote about. So if you click here your penis will grow like 5 inches. If you’re a girl, I suggest you don’t click on the


I was working as a dish washer in the Department of Corrections building. My boss was a horrible alcoholic. But the good part was that I was also a horrible alcoholic. So every morning he would bring two 24 packs of Budweiser to work and we’d start drinking them at 6

Run, Josh, Run

Run, Josh, run An SN&R writer races from his addicted past By Josh Fernandez More stories by this author… Read 3 reader submitted comments This article was published on 11.27.08. PHOTO BY ANDREW NILSEN The California International Marathon happens on Sunday,

Rush Limbaugh Obituary

Rush Limbaugh Rush Limbaugh was a huge fat person who hated liberals, blacks, Jews, Mexicans and apparently himself, because he stuffed himself full of deadly amounts of hamburgers and pills until his heart could no longer take the punishment. He lived the life of Chris
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