Guidos under fire

I don’t understand why Italian-American organizations like Unico National are giving MTV shit for airing the reality show Jersey Shore. The show is a lot like the Real World, but instead of the angry black guy, the sensitive gay and the headstrong Christian chick from

This post is gay

I have received messages from the gay community (note: I said “messages” not “massages”) that my posts are too heterosexual. Okay, it was a massage. But it was the early 90s. And it was one guy. And I was really fucked up. And sore. But let me be the

Lil Wayne had weed on his bus? No way.

Why is CNN’s Aspen Steib surprised that Lil Wayne had weed on his bus? CNN should report on the day that Lil Wayne doesn’t have weed on his bus. Wait, why is there a reporter called Aspen Steib? The name sounds like it would belong to a really mean prep school

Getting festive

During dinner, my friend leaned over and asked if I’d been to the creepy carnival. I hadn’t, but was intrigued. “It’s empty and there’s a Ferris wheel,” she whispered. The way she said “Ferris wheel” and made a mysterious face was supposed to indicate its

Automatic Door

This really confusing video is brought to you by Pakistan, engineering, retarded people and Anton Barbeau.

A Tuesday gift

I have so much work to do that I can’t update this site today. However, I can give you something very newsworthy and profound. Samoans with

Celebrity look alike

I wasn’t going to update this site today because I’m behind on everything, but it’s really cloudy and cold and I don’t want to go out there. So are you ready? This one’s good: Celebrity hairstylist (yes, I said “celebrity

Rise of the Garcias

I don’t need some shitty news organization to inform me that the reign of white America will end by 2050–and do you know why? Because my cellular telephone is already dropping hints. Here’s one: I just tried to respond to my sister because she sent me a
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