Ah shit. I have a feeling that Morrisey is going to die.

At his October 24 show in Swindon Morrisey, 50, dropped like a bucket of brooding and sensitive bricks while performing “This Charming Man.”

He was taken to the Great Western Hospital (which sounds pretty legit) and is at home in “stable condition.” Which means he’s going to die.

So I’d like to write the first obituary:

Hi Morrissey. You were so loved. Especially by Mexicans. Why was that, by the way? There were so many Mexicans at your shows that you’d think you were giving away free auto parts. Anyway, there’s always a special place in heaven for men who seem like dandies but aren’t because of their being in a band and everything. Wait, were you gay? I never really picked up on that. Some of ¬†your shirt choices were totally insane, like that paisley shit. Who wears paisley? Anyway, it’s good you died now because in your old age you were just one denim shirt away from looking exactly like Jay Leno. ¬†Sorry, is this how you write an obituary to a dead person? I don’t think it is. I fucked up your obituary, man.


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