1. White rappers.

370c62n7Stop it.

2. Bland rock

coldplayYou are the missionary position of music. You don’t fool me with your messy hair and alterna-pants; if there’s a possibility that my grandma might enjoy your music, then you are bland.

3. Retarded black people

Lil Wayne ArrestLil Wayne, T-Pain, Flavor Flave, Suge Knight, that fat fuck with the beard … The list goes on. I thought it couldn’t get more retarded than Lionel Ritchie, but 2009 is soaring to new heights of mental disability.

4. New Americana

TheWeight_500

So you’re trying to tell me that you’re a ramblin tough guy hardened by whiskey, women and the concrete stretch of road that you call your home? Didn’t you graduate sigma cum laude from Harvard? Aren’t you getting a master’s in sociology? Isn’t your dad the president of a goddamn hedge fund? Dick.

5. Your band

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Seriously. You guys sound like lepers fucking. It’s gross.

Comments

  1. melanie d. says:

    great. you say white rappers, i get informer running through my head.

  2. Hanif Houston says:

    Dude, Josh, I love you, but your rap taste is stranded somewhere on the side of the road. Wayne is so dope. What he lacks in looks, he makes up for energy, humor, and wit. And, like it or not, he is opening up a new exciting conversation in hip hop to which everybody must respond. I’m not saying he’s smart. He’s a fucking idiot. But he’s idiocy is so much more interesting then, say, Common’s intelligence.

  3. Yanz says:

    Grasshopper, you too will be a grandfather. And Lil Wayne is one of the more brilliant hip-hop artists to emerge recently.

    Eminem put out some great records although his last one was not of them.

    With that said, this is your blog so feel free to lash out.

  4. w k says:

    Yeah, it’s important we have a dialogue about the appropriate use of the word “yeah” in rap music. And about bitches and booze and bling, and getting respect for said bitches and booze and bling.

    I totally agree with Hanif that dumb people’s intelligence is better than intelligent people’s intelligence.

    And, Yanz, you should have seen my last poop. It was one of the more brilliant turds to emerge from my ass recently. Of course, my feces doesn’t have to exist in the same genre as Grandmaster Flash, Afrika Bambaataa, The Roots…

  5. Jake Catlett says:

    Do you remember the Lionel Ritchie video, I think it was for “Hello”, where he was supposed to be blind, and he rubbed his grubby hands all over his girlfriend’s face, and then made a PERFECT fuckin’ clay head of her, and that, like, made her wet or something?

    Anyhow, your Lionel Ritchie mention made me remember how retarded that is.

  6. Oh yeah, I remember that clay statue looking nothing like the chick. It looked more like Andre the Giant.

  7. Jake Catlett says:

    oh shit! I had it backwards! it was the girl that was blind… and Lionel that got wet.

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