I think the title is pretty self-explanatory. By the way, someone wrote to me and said that I use too many exclamation points. So that’s the first thing that is annoying:

1. People who tell me what to do – go punctuate your own website.

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2. Indie rock bands from Brooklyn – If you add up all the indie bands from Brooklyn, the sum is actually greater than the entire population of Brooklyn. If you are in a trio from Brooklyn you have to have a bald guy, a guy with a beard and a guy who looks like a TV math professor. A quartet just adds a chick. A Brooklyn indie quintet can have a fat guy.

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3. Matt and Kim. These are simply the two most annoying people on the planet. And, yes, they are an indie duo from Brooklyn. It’s like if you took every horrible stereotype of white people and stuffed them into these two waifish idiots. That said, I’d like to have sex with them both. I say both because I’m not sure which one is which.

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4. White person saves a minority movies. In the Blind Side, Sandra Bullock saves a big, lumbering black dude from the ghetto. In one scene she goes to the projects to set a bunch of gang members straight and she doesn’t get raped. A win for Sandra Bullock equals a win for the entire white race. Go white race! Other such condescending films include: Dangerous Minds, Freedom Writers, Bring it On and Roots. Ok, maybe not Roots.

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5. Irresponsible babysitter movies. A huge angry black man who rapped about shoving AK47s up people’s asses is going to take care of a kid? What a hilarious Christmas treat! Jackie Chan as a government agent who gets stuck with babysitting a bunch of brats? Bring it on! What other unlikely candidate will have to take charge of a kid on the big screen? David “the Nightstalker” Ramirez? The BTK Killer? Oh Hollywood, you never cease to thrill me.

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Josh Fernandez © 2020
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