I still have some form of relentless flu, but luckily I hired a new assistant here at www.josh-fernandez.com.
And no, it’s not teenaged prostitute, like the icon suggested. I just put that there to attract more customers.
Now, onto my real assistant. The boy is bright, charming and has the looks of a feisty young puma. Yeah, he’s a little rough around the edges but that’s what we like around here, if you know what I mean.
Seriously, I need an assistant because I’ve been getting a lot of mail. And some of it is real hate mail, like this:
You are a sad little punk, wrapped up in your stupid ethnicity, sitting on a little cloud of your own farts. You think you know something that no one else does. You are an egotistical bastard with poor social skills and a latent homosexuality that screams ‘Give me the big one, baby’
You and all the other bi curious bloggers think you have something to say, and that you somehow hold sway over others. You are one tiny corn kernel in a vast pile of shit, Mexi-boy. That modern enough for you, miho?
And that was written on Yelp, a restaurant review site. The sad part is, it’s all true. I just ate a churro and made a Dutch oven in my bed. And my fiance even warned me about my unhealthy obsession with penis.
Anyway, my assistant can talk his way out of anything and then back it up with his fists, if need be. So now I have some gunz in this operation.
I forget where he’s from, but I’m pretty sure it’s Tennessee.