The day of the lord

In Bell Buckle, Tenn., 54 year old Wilma Johnson found a mysterious disc sitting on top of her television set. She quickly called her 14-year-old niece, who told her that it was a DVD.

“A Dee vee, who?” she asked.

Her niece explained that a DVD is a disc that you are able to watch movies on.

“Like moving pictures?”

“Yeah.”

They went to her niece’s trailer, where her television was equipped with a DVD player. They had no idea that they were about  to watch would change the world forever.

What they saw on the television was a bearded man wearing sandals. As he started to remove his thick, brown robe, the two relatives quickly recognized the man as their Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

“What we saw next was dee-sgust-ing,” Johnson said. She described her shock as she watched naked Jesus mount another bearded man, slip his gigantic penis into his asshole and fuck him until they both came.

“I almost lost my lunch,” said Johnson.

When asked why Johnson and her niece continued to watch the DVD in its entirety, she said,  “Well, it’s Jesus Christ, you just gotta do what he says.”

Safe sex.

Holy fuck!

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