Why is CNN’s Aspen Steib surprised that Lil Wayne had weed on his bus? CNN should report on the day that Lil Wayne doesn’t have weed on his bus.

Wait, why is there a reporter called Aspen Steib? The name sounds like it would belong to a really mean prep school bully who stuffs nerds in lockers as a hobby.

But a bit of my own reporting turned up this Aspen Steib, a woman:



Once again, my instincts are wrong.

Anyway, patrol agents didn’t need a drug sniffing dog to determine that there was contraband on Lil Wayne’s bus. All they needed were eyes. If they pulled the bus over and saw this come out …


… you can pretty much bet your ass he’s got some fucking drugs.

Is that racism? No, it’s retarded-glint-in-his-eyes-and-fucking-tattoos-on-his-face-ism.

If I was a cop I wouldn’t be on the downtown beat, nor would I be on the inner-city beat. I’d be on the Lil Wayne beat. I’d just run around with my nightstick and find Lil Wayne, beat the shit out of him and then drag his skinny ass to prison.

And then I’d use my powers of law enforcement to apprehend Aspen Steib.

Josh Fernandez © 2021
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