First, lessons in language need more slutty Asian chicks with graffiti on them, so here:


I’ve been obsessed with quotation marks lately. As I’ve already noted here on this website, people use quotes to degrade me when they write letters of hatred by calling me a “journalist” or a “writer.”

It’s their little trick. It doesn’t really work because I get paychecks from news organizations, which makes me a journalist. Sometimes my stories are offensive and awfully written. But that just makes me feel even more like a journalist and even happier that I got paid for the horrible piece of shit I turned in.

Anyway, quote marks can be used for other things. My favorite is when I use them to make innocent things sound dirty, like this:

The man buttered his toast.

Harmless, right? But now look at this:

The man “buttered” his “toast.”

Haha! Sicko!

She’s a good teacher because she really knows what to do in a classroom.

There’s nothing fishy about a good teacher.

She’s a good teacher because she really knows what to “do” in a classroom.

What a sick fucking whore!

But this little trick doesn’t work in the opposite way. I mean, you can’t put quotations on a word to make the sentence sound less dirty.

I like when men fuck me in the ass.

That’s a pretty bold statement.

I like when men fuck me in the “ass.”

Oh my god! Way more edgy! See? It still sounds gay, plus it’s even more sinister, as if instead of “ass” you also mean “mouth” and “ear” holes, and whatever other hole you can get fucked in.

OK, class is dismissed. You can go “do” whatever it is you “do” now.


  1. Ross Hammond says:

    After reading that I’m “plugging in” my toaster.

  2. Stacie says:

    i like this “lesson” you “taught”

  3. says:

    Piece of writing writing is also a fun, if you know after that you can write if not it
    is complex to write.

  4. says:

    First off I want to say terrific blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to
    ask if you don’t mind. I was curious to know how you center
    yourself and clear your thoughts prior to writing.
    I have had a hard time clearing my mind in getting my ideas out
    there. I truly do take pleasure in writing
    but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes
    are lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or hints?

  5. I like the valuable info you provide in your articles.
    I will bookmark your blog and check again here regularly.
    I am quite certain I will learn many new stuff right here!

    Best of luck for the next!

  6. Hello my family member! I wish to say that this article is amazing, great written and
    include almost all vital infos. I would like to peer
    extra posts like this .

  7. ps4 games says:

    Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s
    new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll
    be book-marking and checking back frequently!

  8. ps4 games says:

    Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News.
    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?
    I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Thank you

  9. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be
    happy. I’ve learn this publish and if I may I wish
    to suggest you some attention-grabbing things or advice.
    Maybe you could write subsequent articles regarding this article.
    I desire to read even more issues about it!

  10. This paragraph provides clear idea for the new people
    of blogging, that truly how to do blogging.

  11. Hi to every one, the contents existing at this site are really awesome for people knowledge, well,
    keep up the nice work fellows.

  12. ps4 games says:

    My family all the time say that I am killing my time here at net, however
    I know I am getting know-how everyday by reading
    such good content.

  13. ps4 games says:

    Quality articles or reviews is the main to invite the viewers to go to see the website, that’s what this website is providing.

  14. ps4 games says:

    This post is worth everyone’s attention. When can I find out

  15. ps4 games says:

    At this time I am going away to do my breakfast, afterward having my breakfast coming again to read further news.

  16. ps4 games says:

    Incredible points. Solid arguments. Keep up the good work.

  17. ps4 games says:

    I am really grateful to the owner of this site who has shared this
    great post at here.

  18. coconut oil says:

    We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme
    in our community. Your web site provided us with valuable
    information to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our whole community will
    be thankful to you.

  19. coconut oil says:

    Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your article
    seem to be running off the screen in Internet explorer.
    I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with internet browser compatibility
    but I thought I’d post to let you know. The style and design look
    great though! Hope you get the issue resolved soon. Kudos

  20. Thanks for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your next post thanks once again.

  21. Keep this going please, great job!

  22. It’s actually very difficult in this busy life to listen news on Television, so I just use the web
    for that purpose, and get the most up-to-date information.

  23. sling tv says:

    Thanks a lot for sharing this with all people you actually realize what
    you’re speaking approximately! Bookmarked.
    Please also discuss with my web site =). We could have a hyperlink alternate contract among us

  24. I have to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this site.
    I am hoping to see the same high-grade content from you later on as well.
    In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own blog now ;)

  25. says:

    I’m really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog.
    Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
    Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to
    see a great blog like this one nowadays.

  26. Way cool! Some very valid points! I appreciate you penning this
    post and the rest of the website is also very good.

  27. sling tv says:

    With havin so much written content do you ever run into any problems of
    plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of
    unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it
    is popping it up all over the web without my permission. Do you know any methods to help reduce content from
    being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.

  28. sling tv says:

    I am no longer positive where you are getting your
    information, however good topic. I needs to spend a while studying much more or working out more.
    Thank you for great information I was searching for this info for my mission.

  29. sling tv says:

    Hi! Do you know if they make any plugins to safeguard against
    hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any recommendations?

  30. sling tv says:

    Hello friends, how is the whole thing, and what you would like to say regarding
    this paragraph, in my view its truly awesome for me.

  31. sling tv says:

    Hi, I do believe this is an excellent website. I stumbledupon it ;) I’m
    going to revisit once again since i have book-marked it.

    Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be
    rich and continue to guide other people.

  32. sling tv says:

    Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my iPad and tested to see if it can survive a 25 foot drop,
    just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now
    destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to
    share it with someone!

  33. sling tv says:

    Hola! I’ve been following your site for a long time now and finally got
    the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from
    Dallas Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the excellent job!

  34. sling tv says:

    Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found
    that it is truly informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels.
    I’ll appreciate if you continue this in future.
    Numerous people will be benefited from your writing.

  35. Thank you a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually recognise what you’re speaking about! Bookmarked. Please also consult with my website =). We may have a link exchange agreement between us!

  36. Los especialistas recomiendan medir los niveles de testosterona, especialmente si la impotencia está asociada a la falta de deseo.

  37. No, no es así y te lo voy a explicar. No conseguir tener erección satisfactoria una vez u otra es completamente normal y pasa con todos los hombres, incluso con los más jóvenes. Causas de impotencia masculina

  38. Für Frauen ist Finasterid nicht zugelassen.

  39. Atarax says:

    Nasal sprays are less likely to cause these problems and may be a short-term solution.

  40. After research a number of of the weblog posts in your web site now, and I actually like your means of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website listing and can be checking again soon. Pls take a look at my website as nicely and let me know what you think.

  41. Major thankies for the article.Really thank you! Awesome.

  42. Im obliged for the article. Really Cool.

  43. classifieds says:

    Thank you for your article.Much thanks again. Really Great.

  44. If you would like to obtain much from this post
    then you have to apply such strategies to your won blog.

Leave a Reply

Josh Fernandez © 2020
Web Design: Siam Studios