I don’t need some shitty news organization to inform me that the reign of white America will end by 2050–and do you know why? Because my cellular telephone is already dropping hints. Here’s one: I just tried to respond to my sister because she sent me a hilarious picture of a big fat lady farting, but instead of  “HAHAHA!” my phone typed “GARCIA!”

Here’s what the Associated Press has to say:

The total population should climb to 399 million by 2050, under the new projections, with whites making up 49.9 percent of the population. Blacks will make up 12.2 percent, virtually unchanged from today. Hispanics, currently 15 percent of the population, will rise to 28 percent in 2050.

Later, white people! Looks like Coldplay can pack up their shit and just chill out for the rest of eternity.

Do you know what the demise of the white race means? It means no more of this:

white people

Or this:


And hopefully this shit will vanish, right along with all those monotoned NPR cardigan enthusiasts:


But, once the Mex-eclipse happens, rest assured,  there will be tons more of this:


And this:


Fuck yeah!

So, listen here CNN: Stop polling everyone and reconfiguring your statistics about when your people will wither away. Not much will change. The music and food will definitely be better. Jesus, it’s not like the end of white people means that life on Earth will be a big round set for a Mac Dre video.

But just in case it is, wear neutral colors. My people tend to set trip.




  1. Serena says:

    I am white as all get out but I will be OK because I have a big ass and red hair.

  2. josh says:

    That’s the spirit!

  3. Serena says:

    Me gusta la playa!

  4. josh says:

    Who doesn’t? It’s what unites us.

  5. Jose says:

    White people will still wear dockers though, who else will?

  6. Stacie says:

    will the Asians still be doing acrylic nails and happy endings?

  7. josh says:

    Ooh, my white half loves Dockers.

    The AP says the Asian population will only increase by 1 percent by 2050, so you guys need to start boning.

  8. w k says:

    What about Jews? Reform Jews are pretty much white people, but those Hasids…

  9. Serena says:

    Im surprised the hipsters havent ironically rocked the Dockers….yet.

  10. melanie d. says:

    yeah, i’ve got dark hair and ghetto booty so i’m safe. plus, half of my family are in gangs or in jail. viva la meximelts!

  11. Ross Hammond says:

    What if you’re white as all hell, but you’re married to a Mexican?

  12. That’s exactly it! In 2050, you’ll almost be dead and your child will be the new breed of American!

  13. Jake Dorsey says:

    I’ll survive it by becoming a museum piece.

  14. Mr. Knowcebo says:

    Stop fronting, Josh (Josh: a very popular name in Juárez, btw). Everybody knows you are as mudblooded with the smell of wet dog as the President.

    Besides, when the Latinos take over brown will become the new white, and all the Hmong will say, “Hey, I’m not saying that Mexicans can’t dance and have small penises…wait, okay that’s what I’m saying.”

    You scoff? Well, just ask yourself who is buying all those Morrissey records.

  15. I think at this point Morrissey is buying all those Morrissey records.

  16. Yanz says:

    Can you gay up this blog a little bit? I mean, do a posting about Lady Gaga or Adam Lambert.

    I already get mistaken for “Mexican” so this won’t affect me too much.

  17. Jake Catlett says:

    Dude! Those homeboys are “straight ballin'” too! Repre-fuckin-sentin’ for the caucasian nation! Fuck your taco eatin’ ass, I wants me some white bread!

  18. Jake Catlett says:

    Or some “banh mi”. The Vietnamese are basically just white people with worse taste in clothing.

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