This post is gay

I have received messages from the gay community (note: I said “messages” not “massages”) that my posts are too heterosexual. Okay, it was a massage.

But it was the early 90s.

And it was one guy.

And I was really fucked up.

And sore.

But let me be the first to tell you (as one of the most heterosexual heterosexuals on the planet) that I understand the needs of homosexuals in America. I am in tune with the oppression and the hate that the gay community faces on a day-to-day basis and I will do whatever it takes to ensure that we are all treated equally under the watchful eye of God (another very heterosexual man).

So here is my first gesture:

Gay community: You’re welcome.