The Westboro Baptist church is coming to Sacramento!

According to their itinerary, they’re picketing the capitol because Schwarzenegger is a fag:


They’re picketing the Hillel House in Davis because Jews are gay:


And they’re even picketing the Sacramento Community Theater because plays are for fags–especially RENT because, according to reviews, it’s about some homosexuals doing gay shit.

In their words:

What do you spoiled Richy Rich losers know about having to rent anything? When Obama is done with you idiots, you will really hope you COULD rent something. There will be NOTHING to rent, or eat or possess. You will eat your babies! Praise God! God is the only giver of grace, you cannot buy it or bargain with God to receive it.

God gives and receives. He could play the lead in RENT.

The last time a caravan of fag-hating Americans came to town I befriended one of them. His name was Ron Brock, from The Church of the Divide. And boy did he obsess about homosexuals. He parked his big red flamboyant truck in front of the Woodland Courthouse. It was plastered with slogans about gays and how they’re going to hell. In his truck, he ate breakfast before a huge anti-gay rally was to begin.

I knocked on his door and asked if I could join him.

“Sure,” he said, and opened the door. “Would you like some breakfast?”

He handed me a piece of his burnt, crusty blueberry bagel that was dripping with butter. It looked like it had already passed through his system.

“No thanks,” I said. But it was mighty Christian of him.

He was pretty friendly and we talked about gay stuff for a long time. Surprisingly, Brock told me he didn’t hate homosexuals. However, he said that if you claim to know God, you have to fight your homosexual tendencies.

“Do you have homosexual tendencies?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “Especially in our youth, we’ve all gone through that floundering around. [But] just because you have a weakness, do you give in to that weakness? You may like it at the moment, but there are consequences.”

His answer about consequences took me off guard, especially when I thought about what the consequences actually were: You can either live freely, or at least out-in-the-open as a homosexual and face the oppression that comes along with being yourself, or you can live like Ron does, as a lonely old fag who sleeps in a bright red truck and prays to a hateful ghost.



  1. holy crap! literally! their itinerary makes them sound even crazier than you do! (i mean, more crazy than you make them sound.) and they must be crazy if they think they’re getting from downtown to horn road and then horn road to folsom in fifteen minutes each during rush hour. perhaps god will delivereth them unto their protests. um, unless he meant what he said about the most important commandment. and i guess it would help if “he” existed too…

    you should follow them around with a video camera and then speed it up and add “keystone kops” music.

  2. They can get anywhere they want in fifteen minutes. They have powers, Geoffrey.

  3. Mr. Knowcebo says:

    Are you covering the protests? You better! It will be a wasted event if you don’t.

    By the way, if I bought you dinner, would you come to my fiction writing group and talk about you’re experience writing your novel? I was going to offer you cash to speak, but everyone in the group is dead-set against that idea. I don’t know why. Why would you waste your time for a lousy dinner? Writers should get paid, I think. Maybe we can come to an agreement on the side.

    Anyway, if you’re interested, email me at

  4. Mr. Knowcebo says:

    oh yeah, here’s my only published story, if you’re interested

    Four Swallows by Jeff McCrory:

  5. I think I’m going to do some video at at least one of them.

    Yeah, I’ll go to your fiction group. Let me know the times.

    I’ll check out your story.


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