Rock the Bells, 2010

The 22,000 capacity Shoreline Amphitheater was packed with all kinds of people—bros with flip-flops, gang members with greasy hair, Caucasian babies, the dude from high school who I forget his name but was glad he didn’t see me because he used to rape me with his

Ghey phags

Here’s a dilemma I’ve given a lot of thought to lately: The word “gay.” It’s so useful and I love it. For instance, the word “dilemma” is fucking gay. But I find myself in a jam because I am friends with a lot of homosexuals. I am

Summer squeeze

(This story originally appeared in the Sacramento News & Review) In the summer of 1994, I was a nimble, 19-year-old boy full of porn and hormones—so what was I doing not getting laid? I sure as hell wasn’t waiting until marriage. So was I training to become a

Better than porn

On Facebook, one of my more muscular friends posted a workout regimen from a website called Muscle & Strength. I forget what the workout was, but on the site I noticed that users would post pictures of themselves doing various muscle poses. The poses would be like

Sorry

I’ve been doing other shit, man. Seriously. Who has time to update a goddamn blog all day long? Right now I’m in Philadelphia, sitting at a Starbucks, watching angry tan people walk around. Last week I was in Wyoming marveling at inbred children as they played

Tea bag on your face

I took our new dog to the Sacramento Tax Day Tea Party. We met some weird

Chatroulette: Get nude

I read a story on a New York Times blog about Chatroullette. It’s a social website that allows one user to be connected with another user via webcam, but the person you connect with is not up to you. It’s random, hence the “roulette” part. If

Stereotypical Mexican reads hate mail

I just got this angry letter from Joshua Bruno. From what I can tell, he’s a real estate broker who is down for hip-hop, in the caucasian sense. I think it was my Brotha Lynch Hung interview that really offended him, but I’m not sure. It could be everything