SPIN 30 biggest concerts

One of SPIN magazine’s 30 biggest concerts of 2009 was the Mayhem Festival, which I wrote about. So if you click here your penis will grow like 5 inches. If you’re a girl, I suggest you don’t click on the

Mugshots

I was working as a dish washer in the Department of Corrections building. My boss was a horrible alcoholic. But the good part was that I was also a horrible alcoholic. So every morning he would bring two 24 packs of Budweiser to work and we’d start drinking them at 6

Run, Josh, Run

Run, Josh, run An SN&R writer races from his addicted past By Josh Fernandez More stories by this author… Read 3 reader submitted comments This article was published on 11.27.08. PHOTO BY ANDREW NILSEN The California International Marathon happens on Sunday,

Rush Limbaugh Obituary

Rush Limbaugh Rush Limbaugh was a huge fat person who hated liberals, blacks, Jews, Mexicans and apparently himself, because he stuffed himself full of deadly amounts of hamburgers and pills until his heart could no longer take the punishment. He lived the life of Chris

Guidos under fire

I don’t understand why Italian-American organizations like Unico National are giving MTV shit for airing the reality show Jersey Shore. The show is a lot like the Real World, but instead of the angry black guy, the sensitive gay and the headstrong Christian chick from

This post is gay

I have received messages from the gay community (note: I said “messages” not “massages”) that my posts are too heterosexual. Okay, it was a massage. But it was the early 90s. And it was one guy. And I was really fucked up. And sore. But let me be the

Lil Wayne had weed on his bus? No way.

Why is CNN’s Aspen Steib surprised that Lil Wayne had weed on his bus? CNN should report on the day that Lil Wayne doesn’t have weed on his bus. Wait, why is there a reporter called Aspen Steib? The name sounds like it would belong to a really mean prep school

Getting festive

During dinner, my friend leaned over and asked if I’d been to the creepy carnival. I hadn’t, but was intrigued. “It’s empty and there’s a Ferris wheel,” she whispered. The way she said “Ferris wheel” and made a mysterious face was supposed to indicate its