My job at Starbucks

drank a lot back then. I barely even remember working at Starbucks. It must have been almost 10 years ago. I drank whiskey before work, during work and after work. One of my supervisors, Leigh, drank more than I did. He was a total asshole and his breath always smelled like

Failed Interview: Butterscotch

Television land is chock-full of depressing and loveless a-holes trying to give us love advice, and like many other things about this confusing world, it’s just twisted and sick. Seriously, flip to ABC’s The View sometime, and try not to vomit as the five sexless,

Hate letters: Obey Shepard’s nutsack!

I know. Shepard Fairey (Obama poster guy) saved the world as we know it with his, um, pictures. But if you write a preview of a Shepard Fairey exhibit that pokes fun at the misspelled press release that the gallery owner sends out, you get banished to a hell where you are

Dicks, balls and a-holes, oi!

Leftöver Crack’s frontman, Stza Crack, hates cops. In fact, he dreams of one day killing one. Stza loves 9/11 (he calls it “Super Tuesday”), and he’s had a love affair with crack cocaine. He’s everything you’d ever want in your favorite punk rocker, and more.

Fraud alert!

With rosy cheeks, a penchant for smart, button-up Polo shirts and money coming out of his Topsiders, the fresh-faced, young, former-Johnson & Johnson salesman William Quinn isn’t your typical hip-hop fan. To give you an idea, he makes presidential hopeful Mike

Guessing game!

I used to love these games. OK, guess what this is: A rare bird? A crack in the sidewalk? A crying Muslim? Anderson Cooper’s hair? Wilford Brimley winking at you? A black hole? The third step in the tuna canning process? Osama Bin Laden’s cave? Where you end up

I fought the man!

This is an email exchange with the PR rep for a new peach tea flavored GoGirl energy drink. I wrote a little review of it and the dude got really fucking mad. After a review, the PR Rep doesn’t usually respond to the writer. But when they do all hell breaks loose. One

Dear John (Stossel)

Dear John (Stossel) Using one man’s contrarianism as impetus for ecological action “Relax. … The fuss over Kyoto is absurd. … Do you think all the signers are going to honor what they signed? … If sea levels rise, we can build dikes and move back from the coasts.
Josh Fernandez © 2019
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